The Guy With The Gun

Tay was drawing pictures for everyone. Grandpa got a flower, Grandma got a flower, Megan got a angry man with a gun. M'kay.

So she proudly walks it over to Megan and hands it to her. Megan shows me the picture and comments

My guy has eyelashes.

Tay: Yep, they're guylashes.

Yeah...and...

We were setting up Taylor's room, finally, and we hung her netting over the bed. Bug immediately jumped on the bed and began to play with it. He wrapped himself up in it and giggled with immense joy. He would NOT leave it alone. It, apparently, was the funnest thing EVER!

So later, I asked Tay what we should get for Buddy's birthday in a couple weeks.

Tay said: A big red truck. Then he could spin the wheels!

I said: What about a tent for over his bed? He liked your net so much I bet he would love to have a bed tent to play under.

Tay: Yeah, and then we could get him another red truck so he can have TWO!

Da Sniffles

Mom, Lego Batman makes my sniffles go away.

Me: Well you better play then.

Mom, if no one is in here to watch me, the sniffles get worse.

Throat

Tay snuck a piece of gum before Ballet with the promise to spit it out BEFORE class. *I* was eating Diam chocolates. Of course Tay wanted some.

Oh darn, you have gum.

I hear and SEE....GULP!

Tay, you DID NOT swallow your gum.

She grins and says:

I have a big throat ya know.

Starts with S

In the car, as we almost always are, and we are doing words that start with the letter S because "they taught me that at my school".

We do: store, sign, spit (quickly followed by: but don't), speed, Sizzler, silly and then Daddy says SNOT!

Tay responds: let's not use snot..I don't like that.

Message for you sir

Laying in bed, trying to wake up, cuddling with a sick boy and watching SpongeBob. Tay is sitting on the end of the bed playing with a piece of paper (she HAS toys, I didn't say: here use your imagination) when suddenly she throws it on my lap saying:

Zing! Message for you.

Then: I didn't throw it, you didn't see me throw it..it just showed up. Read it!

I don't negotiate with terrorists

Tay wanted to go outside to help run-off the Israeli Solicitor. I told her:

No, stay here.

She walked over to my shoes and said:
If you don't let me go outside I will destroy your shoe.

I told her: I don't negotiate with terrorists.

Tay: Hmph!

And walked upstairs to get dressed.

Brrr...

I have been ill the last few days. Because of it, and my sheer laziness, the children have had the run of the house. BIG mistake. There is a lot that needs to be cleaned.

I asked Tay to pick up the toys in the living room and I would vacuum. What ensued was a long, drawn out negotiation, and although she is good, I am better. I have the: Because I am the Mom trump card. So she began to pick up. Very little, but at least she started.

A few minutes later, an almost naked Taylor walks into my bedroom, arms across her chest, shivering and says:

Mom, I'm getting too cold of cleaning up.

Wrong

Testing out the new PS3, Glenn was playing videos. Tay was watching the video for Wrong by Depeche Mode.

Glenn said: We went to see them in concert ya know?
Tay: HEY! I wanted to go!
Glenn: Maybe when you get older.
Tay: Ya, like when I am 5.

Grandma does it better

Papa likes Toaster Strudel. Has since they first released them for public consumption. I know this, Mom knows this, every one knows this. There is almost always some in any freezer where Dad stays. So I bought some last night and he made some this morning.

Tay woke up, gave me a hug and cuddle and Dad sat down in the chair. Tay said: Papa you have to sit by us on the couch.

She said this because 1) she loves her Papa AND 2) He had Toaster Strudel. She knows Papa is generous and I am sure was counting on sharing.

So Papa shared. And then he asked:

See, it's better than Grandma's isn't it?

Tay: No.

Don't ask if you can't handle the answer. Papa and I laughed.

What seatbelt?

We're riding in the car, the Cruiser (this is a kinda important fact) and Papa and Nana say to Taylor: Why are you touching that? I look back and she is standing in the third row leaning over the second. I think: she ain't doing that with her seatbelt ON.

Me: Tay! Why are you standing?
Tay: Huh?
Me: Put your seatbelt on.
Tay: But it's invisible.

Car erupts with laughter.

Me: Invisible huh?
Tay: Yep.
Glenn: Put the visible one. I can't tell the Officer to look at the invisble one, we will all go to jail. Can you imagine? Yes, Officer, I KNOW it LOOKS like she isn't wearing one, that's only because we got the invisible ones.

Tay put on her visible one, just for Daddy and the Policeman.

You know why I love you?

We spent the weekend at Mom and Dad's. Went to two Ogden Raptor's game (lost the first, won the second) and did a few other things. We woke up Sunday morning and I heard:

Mom, the sun is up.

Me: Yes, Tay it came up again.
Tay: You know why I love you Mom?
Me: Why honey?
Tay: I love you because the sun came up.

Negotiation

It was a long day. We were in bed getting ready to sleep. Tay was watching Oobi. If you haven't had that pleasure it's on Noggin. I suggest you TiVo it at least once.

So I say:

Tay, I am gonna turn the channel. We are done with Oobi okay?

Tay: Let's pretend you can't find the remote.

Soccer..no...ballet

Tay can't decide if she wants to try Soccer (I am trying to be Switzerland and remain completely neutral all the while smuggling those paintings in the guise of REAL Salt Lake games) or if she wants 'Ballerina lessons'. Her Aunt Cheryl just assumes she will be playing soccer and has been overtly feeding her desire. She bought her two soccer balls, one for the REAL team to sign, and one to play with, even though I had already bought her a size 3..in pink months earlier. She also has shin guards now, thanks Aunt Cheryl. We took her to the REAL / Toronto game on Saturday. It was great! Brett went with us and Tay spent the time making friends. No lie. The guy in front of us high 5'd her a few times for her screaming: GO RED TEAM! (she can't say REE AWL, or at least she won't try.)

When the crowd would groan, Tay would groan. When REAL scored and the place went wild, Tay went wild. She screamed at the top of her lungs which prompted the people in front of us and in front of them to turn around and smile at her. Brett asked: Was that her? I nodded. He said: Oh my. And giggled. She's loud. I asked her if she wanted to play and she jumped up and down: Yes! And I smiled.

When Cheryl took her to get the ball signed, she waited in line and watched all the people kicking around. Once the ball was signed...she bounced it. Yep, like a basketball. Wouldn't kick it, bounced it. I caught the REAL players watching her and smiling. So I think, although she looks REALLY cute in the outfit, we will wait a little longer. THAT and she was showing me how Ballerina's point their toes in cleats on the way home.

Interesting place for a headache

Tay has been impatiently waiting to go over to the neighbors. They are going swimming today. Hopefully. I have been trying to clean and making lunch all with her asking if it's time yet. I told her she had to eat lunch and then she could go over. She sits down gleefully to eat. Takes a few bites and says:

Whew, I am full.

Me: Eat a little more please, I don't for one second believe you are full.
Tay: But my brother needs more food. I will give him mine.
Me: No. Eat.
Tay: I think my brother wants some of my food.
Me: Tay, eat.

Long pause.

Tay: My tummy has a headache, it can't eat anymore.

Wrong shoes

Raining. (I'm painting the picture.)

Dark.
Driving.
Drives though a DEEP puddle and water sprays all around us.

Tay: This is why we wear shoes with toes.

Pause.

Tay: See, Nana, you wore the wrong shoes. No toes. You wore sandles. Those are the wrong shoes cuz it's raining.

Nana: I know, thanks.

Me: Giggle giggle giggle.

I guess the grass is getting long.

Tay and 'The Boys' from next door came in and asked: Can we borrow the lawnmower? Now, before you get concerned, they were asking for their Mother. I said sure and brought it out to them. They took it next door.

I don't know what was playing out but the next thing I hear is the front door opening. I turn to see Tay walking down the hallway, pouting. REALLY pouting.

Me: What's wrong?
Tay: The Boys won't let me start the Mowlawner.
Me: The Mowlawner?
Tay: Yes! And I told them to let me but they won't.
Me: Well, I think that their Mom should do it.
Tay: Daddy let me
Me: Daddy is not out there so leave it to Josie
Tay (still pouting in a long skirt and walking toward the door): I never get to work the Mowlawner.

What's a little rain?

Without a child who wants to play in it? In the kitchen I hear:

Mom I am going to go outside with my rainbrella.

Rainbrella? It does make more sense doesn't it? And this is what I see:



She is even wearing her swim top.

For the next little while...rainbrella is the word.

Don't say that Mom

We were driving. We drive a lot. I was in my lane and the traffic ahead of me was slowing down, so I slowed down. Now, my lane also had an on-ramp/off-ramp situation going on. Stupid layout as far as I am concerned and here's why:

There was a 'guy' merging onto the freeway...not paying attention to what was ahead of him just whether or not he could speed up fast enough to beat the guy coming up on me in the outside lane. He did NOT see that everyone, including myself, was slowing down. That's right he sped up and started to merge behind me too quickly. I can't tell you how close he was to us because I could only see the top of his hood and not a bumper! I sped up a little (NOTE: Gentlemen, this is WHY you leave escape room of at least one car in front of you, in case you have to move up out of 'someones' way.) and as I was doing so he barely made it past me. I literally braced for impact and this escaped my lips:

Oh crap! What an ass.

Tay: Hey! You can't say asshole Mom.
Me: I didn't say asshole Tay I said ass. He was being stupid and reckless and I called him an ass.
Tay: Don't say asshole Mom.
Me: I didn't honey.
Tay: Well don't say it anyway.